A seizure is visible. Recovery isn’t.
That’s where things get quiet.
How epilepsy changes your relationship with planning
Planning used to be simple.
Now it’s layered.
Not complicated. Just… heavier.
Planning becomes risk management
It’s not just:
- where
- when
- how
It’s also:
- sleep
- stress
- medication timing
- exit options
- “what if this goes wrong”
You stop planning events.
You start planning outcomes.
Spontaneity gets expensive
“Let’s just go.”
That works if your body is predictable.
If it’s not, “just go” can turn into “pay later.”
Late nights, missed routines, extra stress — small things stack.
People call it overthinking.
It’s not.
It’s memory.
Continue reading “How epilepsy changes your relationship with planning”What people get wrong about “looking fine” with epilepsy
“You look fine.”
That sentence does a lot of work for people.
It closes the topic. It removes discomfort. It skips the part where they might have to think a bit harder.
And if I look fine, then everything is fine.
Convenient.
Looking fine is a performance
Most of what matters isn’t visible. People might see a seizure. They don’t see what comes after.
The confusion.
The fatigue.
The quiet “something’s off” feeling that doesn’t go away just because I can stand up again.
But if I can talk, walk, respond, then the conclusion is obvious:
Back to normal.
Except it’s not.
Continue reading “What people get wrong about “looking fine” with epilepsy”
A friend in need
In my first years with epilepsy, I was scared of telling anyone about it. That’s because I was diagnosed at 14. It’s hard enough for an introvert to make friends and adding the image that epilepsy gets in society would have made it worse. In my early years, I didn’t have too many seizures and they happened at home.
Going to university, I had my first public seizure – right before taking one of my first exams. I would have preferred honestly to take the exam instead. In university, I had good friends that knew and understood me. I realized that there are people out there that actually look at the person and not at the disorder. That was good. Not teenagers, but still not adult persons (between 18-24) aren’t judgemental, it seems.
Continue reading “A friend in need”Keeping notes
I first started writing down the number and dates of my seizures about 12-14 years ago, before moving from Romania to Belgium. At first, I just tried to remember the numbers of seizures I had in a year, then I remembered the dates. I remember clearly my first seizure, because, well, it was “my first” and it was in an usual setting and caused a whirlwind of things going wrong in my life.
Continue reading “Keeping notes”
Dealing with epilepsy 
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