Category: Way too personal

Dealing with epilepsy · Way too personal

Friendship: The Beauty of the “Non-Flincher”

Codrin POLeave a comment

In many of my previous posts, I mentioned that people often react to epilepsy with fear—not fear for me, but fear that they won’t know how to handle the situation. This fear creates a distance. It makes people treat you like you’re made of glass, or worse, they stop inviting you places because they don’t want the “responsibility” of your health.

However, there is a special category of person I call the “Non-Flincher.” These are the friends who know about the condition and don’t make it the centerpiece of the relationship. They don’t panic if you look a little tired, and they don’t treat a seizure like a scene from a horror movie. If one happens, they simply follow the protocol, wait it out, and then ask if you want a glass of water or to talk about something else entirely.

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A friend in need
Blog · Dealing with epilepsy · Way too personal

A friend in need

Codrin PO

In my first years with epilepsy, I was scared of telling anyone about it. That’s because I was diagnosed at 14. It’s hard enough for an introvert to make friends and adding the image that epilepsy gets in society would have made it worse. In my early years, I didn’t have too many seizures and they happened at home.

Going to university, I had my first public seizure – right before taking one of my first exams. I would have preferred honestly to take the exam instead. In university, I had good friends that knew and understood me. I realized that there are people out there that actually look at the person and not at the disorder. That was good. Not teenagers, but still not adult persons (between 18-24) aren’t judgemental, it seems.

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Dealing with epilepsy · Way too personal

Professional cuddling for epilepsy

Codrin PO

Professional cuddling, here is something I didn’t know existed. I found about this due to a friend. There are people out there, others than psychologists, pshyciatrists and friends, that offer to help you with a nice talk, a sensitive discussion and a cuddle (for a fee, of course).

But how can this help people with epilepsy?

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Blog · Dealing with epilepsy · Way too personal

Is it fear or lack of respect that you see the most?

Codrin PO

I was speaking with one of those Facebook friends that you never met the other way. She also has a very specific disorder, although not epilepsy, but close to the spectrum.

When asking what she hates the most about her condition, she said “the way the others perceive her”. Thinking about epilepsy, how do friends and acquintances see you and what do you hate about it? I saw in the eyes of people that know about my epilepsy many things, but two stick out:

  1. Fear – people fear that you’ll have a seizure anytime, anywhere. But the fear is not that you’ll get hurt, but that they won’t be able to handle what is happening.
  2. Lack of respect – there are many myths about epilepsy (see my past articles) and many people believe them. Many people think that we are all photosensitive, or that we inherited it, or that we have a smaller IQ because of it. The last one is the one I saw many times, regardless of saying to people that Caesar, Dostoyevski, Agatha Christie, Alfred Nobel, Van Gogh and Theodore Rosevelt (among many others) had it.
Blog · Dealing with epilepsy · Way too personal

Navigating love with epilepsy: challenges faced when dating

Codrin PO

Dating can be an exhilarating journey filled with anticipation, butterflies, and the hope of finding a lasting connection. However, for individuals living with epilepsy, the experience of dating can come with unique challenges and uncertainties. In this blog post, we will explore the problems that people with epilepsy often encounter while dating and offer some insights on how to address them.

  1. The Fear of Disclosure: One of the most significant challenges faced by individuals with epilepsy when dating is deciding when and how to disclose their condition. Fear of stigma, misconceptions, and rejection often complicate this process. Some individuals may worry that their potential partners will view their epilepsy as a burden or a barrier to a healthy relationship. Striking the right balance between openness and personal privacy can be a delicate task.

Suggestion: It’s important to remember that epilepsy is a medical condition and not a reflection of one’s character or worth. When considering disclosing your epilepsy, choose a comfortable and appropriate time to have an open conversation. Education and dispelling common misconceptions about epilepsy can help alleviate fears and foster understanding.

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